When I first had the vision for this website, I had never really thought it would be much more than a form of therapy for me. I would use it as an online journal of observational experiences, things or events that kind of left me speechless. The domain name actually came from my life experiences that had left me virtually speechless with a severe speech impediment that has made oral communication extremely difficult.
The loss of my ability to orally communicate with ease, seeming at times like I was speaking a foreign language that no one had ever heard before, was also the main impetus for me to create a safe place for a stream of consciousness that at times may appear to be rants. I also had hoped that in sharing some of my personal experience and observations, the odd individual that might trip over my site, may find some of it relatable and open a dialogue or even perhaps offer a respectful counter point.
Every now and again the “was left speechless” portion of the site may manifest a rhetorical question, like why? There are also occasions where you may be left speechless by the presence or achievements of another soul. Just an amazing example of the human condition living life to the fullest.
I was recently witness to to a combination of both, a model example of humanity and a very loud rhetorical why.
Having moved from my hometown almost forty years ago and allowing distance and life to get in the way, I have allowed myself to miss far too many family events. That includes all the usual, births, birthdays weddings, anniversaries, illness and passings.
When I was a much younger man, my mother had remarried after the passing of my father. In doing so I gained an incredible Father figure and three sisters with amazing families of there own including children that all grew into beautiful, grounded, accomplished adults with families of their own. These are the people and events I regret missing the most but that is another post for some other time.I was fortunate enough to meet the spouses of my nieces and nephews on the very rare occasions I managed to be home for family events and found, unfortunately, I had something in common with one of them.
My nephew’s wife had been diagnosed with cancer and was walking a path that I was far too familiar with. Jodi was always gracious and always took time to respond when ever I reached out. It did not matter if was for a birthday wish, holiday salutations or to offer myself up to answer any question that they may have had as they navigated their very personal quest for a cure, I always received a response. Impressive courtesy to take the time to respond to someone that by all measure was close to being a complete stranger.
I followed along through social media and family correspondence as the young family left no stone unturned in their quest to conquer this disease. It was not long before Jodi had gained hero status in my eyes, with her incredible façade of positivity and strength while juggling the weight of the world and maintaining a beautiful vibrant family life for their young son.
After a very courageous battle, it was never her incredible will power, positivity or infectious smile that failed her, it was the relentless surgeries that took a compounding toll on her body with no recovery time. I am told she passed peacefully surrounded by those that meant the most to her.
Everyone was of course gutted by the loss of such a beautiful soul at the very beginning of building an exciting future with her husband and young son.
I attended Jodi’s Celebration of Life with family and friends. The event was hosted at the University of Western Ontario where they had all the flags on campus lowered to half staff. Yes, I was left speechless as I saw the outstanding turnout of family, friends, and acquaintances. On display were glimpses into the life of a woman that was very accomplished and passionate in her professional life and the service of others. The more testimonial I heard confirming she was as brilliant as her infectious smile, the more in awe I became of this incredible human being and her thirst for life, the louder that rhetorical why rang in my mind.
How could it make any sense to lose someone this early that clearly meant so much to so many ? Why does it seem they always take the great ones out of the game so early? Why does and old fart like me hang in after so many others have been taken that are not as jaded or cynical? Why take someone out of the race that seems to have their foot firmly planted on the pedal of life vs the old dawg coasting to the finish line?
People always repeat the old stand by cliches like “things happen for a reason” or “God has a plan.”
I am normally not one to argue with reason or question a higher plan but this time I will make an exception.
Why ?
I have no words…. Left Speechless.